Both Sides of One Coin
by AKUltiWarrior
Summary: She definitely never forgot. How could she? Every night she'd dream about his last words, his eyes, and his face. What a miracle for her to be laying on her bed with a smile on her face and in a healthy relationship.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I don't plan for this to be a long story. Jus' saying. ALSO, this is based mostly on the musical soooo yeah. There are some movie elements in my story. Only some.**

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Veronica Sawyer has graduated from college roughly five years ago. It's been years but…

She definitely never forgot. How could she? Every night she'd dream about his last words, his eyes, and his face. What a miracle for her to be laying on her bed with a smile on her face and in a healthy relationship. On the palm of her left hand was a framed picture of her best friends. She was smiling happily in the middle. Martha Dunnstock stood to her left. She was looking much more fit than she was in her high school days.

Heather McNamara stood to her right. She was still as beautiful as ever. Next to her was Betty Finn. She had grown more attractive and her style has definitely improved. They looked so happy. It was only a few hours after they graduated from college when they took the picture. Her stomach fluttered at the nostalgia. The photo filled her with joy and just as much _sorrow._ If _somehow_ things ended up differently then maybe he would also be in the photo.

 _He,_ being her ex-boyfriend, Jason "J.D." Dean.

Her eyes wandered to her closet. She stood up, consumed by the feelings of her past, and opened the doors. Ignoring the bunch of colorful clothing, she put her focus on a black trench coat. It was something odd about him that she never questioned when he was alive. He wore it almost every time she saw him. That was saying something, considering she'd been dating him for that short amount of time she knew him. It became part of his identity to her. It was one of his traits that she thought was charming- cute, even.

They had given it to her before his funeral. It was ironic. On that particular evening, everything felt so cold. The coat was black, just like everyone's clothing.

Despite the chilly atmosphere, she managed not to wear it. After that event she wanted to throw it back at them. She wanted to say that _she didn't want it._ She'd have done so if not for the fact that she'd be lying to herself. She brought it home and washed it once a week. She hung it in her closet and made sure there were no wrinkles. She took care of it and was filled with such grief whenever she laid her eyes on it. But that grief filled a certain part of her. She herself didn't understand why she couldn't throw it away. It wasn't like she was going to wear it but…

She reached out to it when someone knocked on her door. Her hand paused, mere inches from the fabric.

Veronica sighed as she closed the closet doors. "Come in," she said. The door opened a crack and her husband's head peaked out from the gap. "It's time to eat, honey," he told her. Veronica smiled and nodded as she approached him. She swung the door open and exited her room. Her husband is a few inches taller than her, his looks are fairly average, and he has curly, brown hair. He looked at her with innocent eyes. They were so different from the dark and dangerous orbs she found herself drowning in so long ago. She sighed.

"Let's go."

* * *

She was back in her room.

Dinner was pleasant. They talked about their day, whether it was bad or good. He talked so casually, so unlike the dramatic way JD spoke to her. It hadn't escaped her notice that she ended up comparing him to her past lover so often. For example, his embrace was warm and comforting. JD's was also warm, but it was more protective than comforting. Sometimes it was more possessive. Other times it was both. Her husband's presence was calm and inviting. JD's presence was just (in one way or another) overwhelming.

She turned over to the right. She spotted the closet. The thought of feeling the trench coat crossed her mind. Her fingers twitched. Veronica sighed tiredly. "When did we go wrong? When did _you_ go wrong?" she mumbled. Life could have been so different. They could have been married. They could have broke it off for good and stayed friends. She smiled bitterly as she realized that the most likely situation would have been the latter. Or maybe not at all. Maybe they would have broken off all contact.

Either way, he would have still been alive.

Strangely enough, the life she had now would be considered enviable. She was a lawyer (not her husband) and had healthy relationships with her co-workers and high school friends. She was considerably wealthy and had a lot of accomplishments. She'd think it was enviable too, if not for that one seemingly insignificant detail. JD was not anywhere to be seen in her current life. That bothered her subconscious for so long because of the incredible impact he had on her during high school.

No matter how you do it, you can't be such a large part of someone's life and disappear so quickly but expect them to forget you. You can never expect them to look back on their life and not remember how they felt about you. A love that was there and then wasn't… hurt. It left a big, gaping hole in a part of her soul. No matter how much it "healed" she would never forget. She had accepted it, sure, but he played a big part in how she now saw the world. She couldn't just _leave it alone._

Her eyes spun as she looked at the ceiling.

It was amazing how badly JD had messed up and occupied her mind.

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 **A/N: That's all for now. I'm still not sure if I'm going to add more than one chapter to this story. Please do review and thank you for reading. I know that Heathers has been a thing for a really long time and I may be too late to write a fanfic, but I needed something to help me spill my thoughts on it. Plus, the ending! Come on!**

 **It also doesn't help that JD is my favorite character.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: If you're wondering how JD's coat isn't in tatters, let's say that a few tailors managed to get it back in one piece.**

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They say that death is a simple thing. You die of either natural causes or an accident and wake up in whatever form of the afterlife you believe in. That, or you simply… die. Nothing more to be said. Jason Dean realized from the moment he opened his eyes that death was neither Heaven nor Hell. If you're lucky enough and don't have any major regrets that could have changed the entire course of your life, then you'd just disappear. Unlike those lucky souls, JD happened to have a major regret.

Veronica.

He couldn't lie to himself and say he had no regrets. No human was that perfect. His regret wasn't actually leaving Veronica, but it was dragging her into his personal problems. Of course, that was what lead to him leaving her. He couldn't forget the emotions that passed through her eyes as the bomb counted down to zero. Shock, anger, denial, and sadness. It all happened so fast that even he himself wasn't able to catch up. Thinking back on it, his last words weren't exactly helping the situation.

"Our love is God."

Veronica stared at him in such a baffled and sad way that he almost thought about leaving the bomb. Even as she sobbed her farewell , there wasn't any acceptance in her at all. Of course, he knew she'd eventually accept it. Though he was certain she wouldn't forget. He wasn't stupid; he knew of the impact he had on her. Maybe he was guilty because of how he knew that she'd never be able to truly move on. At least, not until her death.

Speaking of her death, it didn't take long for him to realize that the reason he was just kind of sticking around was because Veronica was still alive. At this point, the only thing he could do was watch her continue living. He knew she was married and why she got married. He stuck around her so much during his "spirit time" that he would often catch her mumbling to herself. It barely surprised him that while she did like her husband a lot (and vice versa), she only married him because she felt obligated to.

While it was also no surprise that she could never fully devote herself to one person because of him, he still felt the guilt that came with being responsible. He wondered for a bit about what that would mean for his relationship with Veronica. It was obvious that they'd both see each other when her time comes. He only wondered how she would react. The most likely and reasonable situation would be that she beat him into a bloody pulp. Any gestures of romance was out of the question because of how he would describe the nature of their relationship.

"There was love, and then there wasn't."

It was also ironic as that was only applicable to Veronica. His love for her did indeed mellow down to admiration, but he still overall loved her right until the moment of his death. The case was, whenever he looked at her, he saw more fear than anything even resembling love. She'd grown apart from him. She felt that, but was willing to give him a shot at a normal life.

Veronica's true reasons for keeping his trench coat with her for so long came to light a few years back. JD knew that she felt that she had played a role in his descent into psychopathy (and she did) and felt responsible for his death. He _was_ surprised that her guilt went as far as wanting to keep a piece of his identity with her to remind herself of her past mistakes. He guessed that she kept it as a message not to let other people's anger infect her to the point that it would cause physical harm to others.

Thinking back, his original intentions were only to make Veronica feel better. Of course, that would be the same case for most people's loved ones. He had loved her back then, but he let his want for her to feel better be confused with his hatred of society. In the process, he also projected society into the school. Ultimately, his hatred overpowered his love and he had to find a way to release all his pent up stress. One thing lead to another, and he realized his mistakes at the wrong time.

His love for Veronica turned into a sort of realization that society isn't all bad. Veronica, as a student of Westerburg High, could also be counted as a member of his imagined "society". Her kindness and blind trust towards him left him realizing that she represented the children of society. Those that had an innocence that not any adult could ever hope to have.

In a sense, his love for her was only one-sided at the time of his death.

That was sad in and of itself. It became even more depressing after he died. His life had become tangled with hers and due to his untimely death, his soul could not simply move on without her. Similar to his situation, her soul ended up twisting with his and she would not be able to move on without him. Situations like these often happened in the "spirit world". Souls would be tangled up and would be required to move on at the same time.

Strangely enough, these souls were always reborn as strangers and would always meet up in their next life. Thus, the term "soulmate" was made. This made him laugh. Either way, they would have to meet in their next life too. He'd heard that, even if they only felt it once, feelings (if they were strong enough) towards the other soul could be carried on to the next life. JD hoped that this would not be the case, as he would feel pity for his next life's unrequited love.

Then again, Veronica had loved him once before...

He knew that at that point, he was hoping for too much. But he also knew that by observing the current Veronica, she would jump at the chance to bridge the gap that he left between them.

JD sighed.

It was a miracle that he thought about Veronica more than anything else, even in his afterlife.

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 **A/N: This chapter would not have surprised you if you read the genres of my story. If you haven't, then I'll just tell you that Supernatural is part of the genres. Also, in this weird universe of mine, "spirits" can't interact with anything in the living world. Like, no matter what their condition is, they can't interact with the living world. They can't even touch or move objects.**

 **And JD will not be coming back to life (no matter how much I love him).**


	3. Chapter 3

It was in the middle of Autumn. The leaves were golden brown and fell from the trees like snow would fall from the sky. It was chilly, but not too cold. Veronica hid her face behind her scarf and cuddled further into her shawl.

Veronica and her husband were going to the cemetery. Why? They were there to visit his dead wife. Only his dead wife... at least, that's what she tried convincing herself. The car screeched to a stop. Her husband smiled at her. "Let's go," he said. The couple stepped out of the car. Gravestones were sprinkled everywhere. It wasn't necessarily a very organized cemetery. Veronica cringed. It was strange to think that out of all those tombstones, one of them stood out as her biggest regret. Well, Heather, Kurt, and Ram had been buried in a nicer, cleaner cemetery. It almost made Veronica mad that the only reason _he_ was here was only because his dad wanted to pay the cheaper price. Nothing like a crappy cemetery for your only son when he dies. Her husband was way ahead of her, so he stopped and waited for her to catch up.

Veronica also stopped, smiling politely and telling him it was okay to leave her alone. He tilted his head in thought, hesitating to separate from her. That was one thing he had in common with him... but they're still completely different people. He returned her smile. "All right. Meet me back at the car, or you can come visit my wife too, if you want," he told her. Veronica nodded. "Love you, hon," she muttered. He grinned, replying with an "I love you, too." Veronica couldn't help but feel strange whenever those words were spoken. It always made her think, _'do you really?'_ Of course he did, he was her husband. They loved each other, but not as much as they were supposed to. He still felt for his wife and she was still guilty about her ex. Two people who couldn't forget. _The perfect pair_ , she thought sarcastically. Why sarcastically? Because back then, that was the same thing she believed for her and .

During her previous trip to the cemetery, she had noticed a fairly new tombstone. She smiled sadly in memory of the person. "Ms. Fleming", it had said. She wasn't a bad teacher... if you ignore the period of time she selfishly capitalized on the suicides of her students to make herself look good. She snorted. Still, it was sad seeing one of her teachers buried underneath the dirt. She hadn't heard of her death since she was working on a rather troublesome case. That was all in the past though, she didn't have much time to dwell on it. It wasn't like she wanted to, either. Ahhh... she was getting distracted. Back to present day.

They went on their separate paths. Veronica wondered around. Some of these people she had heard of, and very few of them she had known. It's sad to see old batch mates when one is standing on the ground and the other is laying in a coffin underground. Thankfully, there weren't much of them. She stopped in front of a very basic and worn out looking tombstone. How sad, she thought. They hadn't even taken very good care of you. Only two words were carved into the stone. In large, bold letters, it said " **JASON DEAN** ". Actually, Jaso Dan, since two of the letters had been scratched out with a stick or a carving knife. She didn't really know. She stared at it for a long while, unmoving.

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 **"Jaso Dan"**

JD wanted so badly to correct it. He felt rather irritated at the stupid kids who had done that to his grave... not like it was even that nice to begin with. The whole cemetery was cluttered with graves. It was like the one running it had never seen a proper cemetery. Ahh, but at least he had a grave. At least strangers could walk past him and think of how sad it must have been for that poor, poor child of 17 to have died so young. He scoffed. Indeed, how sad for him.

His father could have afforded a nicer place, he knew that. He was simply a cheapskate. On another matter, he wondered how his pet was doing. Probably dead, now that he thought about it. He sighed. It's not like he could go back and check. When he wasn't hovering around Veronica, he simply "hung out" at his grave. He knew that he should find a better way to waste his afterlife, but... he couldn't really think of any. He looked up as he heard leaves crunching underneath someone's feet. To his (un?)pleasant surprise, Veronica was heading towards him from the path up ahead. He sighed. She would sometimes visit, doing nothing but staring at the rock that held his name. He never wondered about what she was thinking about, instead just taking his place beside her like he was giving her actual company.

He smirked. Really, it was Veronica that was giving him company.

It was always like this. She would stand there, as if waiting for his hand to pop out of the dirt (he knew he was persistent, but definitely not to that degree). JD would, in turn, watch her. They would never say a thing, and he thought that would never change. Of course, until she opened her mouth. Veronica's expression didn't change, but oh, the emotion in her voice pretty much blew him away. "It's been so long," she whispered. JD shuddered. It indeed had been long, almost too long since she had spoken to him... or at least felt like she was speaking to him. "Ich Luge means "I lie" in German. I bet you never thought I'd catch up on that, huh, jackass?" she continued. Her voice steadily grew louder with each word she uttered.

JD stared at her, almost feeling baffled. " _Damn_ ," he muttered. Those were a tough few first words. Veronica didn't stop there, of course. Once she gets settled, there's no stopping her. He liked that about her. "Hey, do you think we could have avoided this? Maybe, you know, you would still be alive. Everyone else, too. I... know I shouldn't be focusing on the what ifs, but we're all human, aren't we? It's not just me. I know. Even he wonders about his wife sometimes. I really shouldn't be talking to a grave. Ya know... I'll definitely find closure. Just you wait. Bye... JD."

Then she walked away. He could not describe how strong the urge to call out for her was. Why did he even try? It wasn't like she'd hear him, anyway. It was so short, yet so fulfilling. It made him feel almost half as alive as he once was. His smile somehow turned more genuine than it had been for years.

"Bye, Veronica."

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 **A/N: Ya know, I've been thinking of an alternate ending where Veronica still doesn't say anything and just leaves. Then JD's just like, "Welp, this is life now. The both of us just have to learn to accept it. Not just half assed acceptance, either." Now wouldn't that be enlightening? Haha, just kidding. Anyway, a review is always appreciated, and make sure to check out my other Heathers fanfic, "Heathers: Cut! (JD and Veronica)". All love to you guys!**


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